Where I'm Going
by She Can't Find Me Now
Summary: Trials of love, life, birth and death. IS A DEATHFIC! With a happy ending. Mostly Sabriel with some Destiel and Crowley/Bobby! Rated M for sex, rape, violence, language and other stuff not suitable for children. MAY BE TRIGGERING. ON HAITUS!
1. Prologue

**I won't be writing this a million times, okay?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural. As heartbreaking as it is, I don't. If I did, you'd see a shitload of Sabriel and Destiel in the RAW. If you know what I mean.**

**Just for shits and giggles, Sam's a virgin. YAY! **

June 15, 2011

Stars. He had always loved stars. He had been sneaking out every moment Dean wasn't paying any attention or as soon as Sam was sure Dean was asleep, he'd be ready to leave the motel room. Since he had been recovering, he always needed more time to think, more time to mull things over. Dean seemed to always be so...bitchy, too. He always, _always _ thought Sam was out for more Demon blood. The distrust shone in his eyes more than an Angel's light even could.

It hurt even more than any other thing imaginable. The Cage was an exception but _damn him _ if it wasn't close. Sam had long since then stopped praying. He knew that it was more than high time to start again, and so, he closed his eyes and he tried as he was stretched out in the middle of an abandoned field, hands tucked behind his head.

_God, I know I have done some unsavory things in my life, but Cas told me that even for people like me there is redemption. Please don't make your son a liar. I don't trust anyone but I'm finding it harder and harder to trust even Angels, Angels. Lord, please help me. I need something, but a miracle is far too much to ask. _

_It'd be nice if you could send me something to draw strength from. This is probably pointless, but, man, I needed to do something. Thank you. _

Sam sighed as he opened his eyes. He stared at the starry sky before he hauled himself up and began to walk. It was about an hour before he got to where he wanted to go. A bar, with alcohol, and lots of it.

Alcoholism wasn't something he had planned on turning to, Hell, he wouldn't even admit he had a problem. As he walked into the bar, he was slammed with the heavy sent of cigars and booze, but he was used to it so he welcomed it. It only signaled his soon to come comfort.

He sat down and ordered a bottle of whiskey to go, any would do, and left with it, back to his spot he had claimed hours earlier and opened the bottle, took a sip and sighed. In his ever-changing life, the stars seemed to become his constant, his only friend. They were always there and until he was where he wanted to be, they were the only thing he could look forward to.

So, after half of the bottle had passed, so had an hour and a half, Sam pulled something out of his pocket and lit it, taking a long drag calmed his nerves and he basked in the calmness. Oh, yes, he smoked. He loved it, too. The thought of him becoming something that he hated even more than becoming a junkie was becoming an alcoholic and a smoker.

Half an hour passed and he felt another presence. A_www, shit,_ he thought._ I'm so fucked._

He slowly, slowly turned to the silhouette that had to have been anyone but his brother. He blinked a few times, trying to clear his head and eyesight.

Was that...Gabriel?

"What do you want?" Sam slurred.

"World peace, a candy bar...a sober Sammy." Gabriel murmured the last bit.

"No, I'm serious. What do you want?" Gabriel walked closer to Sam and caressed his cheek.

"Exactly what I said, Sammyboy." Sam looked at him with drunkenly glazed, dilated eyes. "Sam, are you high?"

"Uh, yeah... Please don't tell Dean, he'll kick me out and I'll never be able to come back and-and I don't know what I'd do..."

"Listen, Sam. You have to stop this destructive behavior! I've given this speech before!" Sam's eyes swam in hurt but he knew he had to. He told himself, next week, for real this time. Tomorrow was the night he was going to quit. He just wanted a little more. Just a little.

Gabriel sighed and put two fingers on Sam's forehead, detoxing him. He was no longer addicted, but he would also no longer remember this night, either.

Sam looked around himself, confused as to why he had a half bottle of whiskey and two blunts beside him.

"A seriously not funny joke, man." He growled at Gabriel.

"It's not a joke, Sam."

Sam blinked and confusion was etched deeply into his face. When his eyes were opened, he was back in his motel room, in his Pj's and standing beside his bed. He shrugged and pulled the covers back then crawled into the deeply inviting sheets and rested his head on the pillow. He couldn't have had any more than four hours of sleep this week and these cheap motel sheets felt like satin.


	2. Hitting On My Brother

**Please, at least finish this chapter, gimme a chance! It gets really, REALLY weird near the middle, just hang on, it'll get better. Hopefully... But dreams are always weird, right? Right?**

**(P.S. She bathes in self-doubt and low self-esteem is her conditioner. Works great! (; )**

June 16, 2011

The next night, Sam and Dean salted and burned the ghost's former body and went back to the motel room. Sam collapsed on his bed, mentally debating as to whether to fall asleep like this or get dressed in this Pj's. The thought of clean pajamas won and he dragged himself up as Dean was walking into the bathroom, silently claiming the first shower. The only shower that was going to happen tonight.

Sam got undressed and dressed then sunk into his bed. Welcoming his beloved new best friend, sleep.

In the middle of the night, Gabriel appeared, silently crawling into Sam's bed. Said giant cuddled up to him instantly. Oh, God, how he loved Sam. Yes, he accepted it, he had come to terms with it years ago. But, man, loving from a distance was hard. Really, really hard.

June 17, 2011

Gabriel heard stirring and then a grumble, belonging to a man named Dean. _Awww, shit, really? I just want a few more hours with my Sammy._ Gabriel sighed and snapped himself away, leaving Sammy to sleep and leaving Dean to wake. Gabriel walked around town, hands shoved deep into his pockets, slumping his shoulders instead of the smug stance he usually had. So, the events of two nights ago still bothered him. Yup, our Gabriel was a tad bit depressed. The liveliest Angel of all was depressed. No one to dig him out, either. He manifested a lollipop and slipped it into his mouth.

Even his favorite flavor of lollipop seemed dull, so he tossed it on the ground. Shit! He really needed to get better.

_Dean walked back into the dingy motel room with breakfast and noticed that Sam hadn't even moved a muscle since Dean had woken up. He still had the side of his face buried into the pillow, hugging the pillow all the while, the thing he did when he wasn't feeling well. Dean softly placed the breakfast he picked up on the counter. He walked over to Sam's bed and felt Sam's forehead._

_'No fever.' Dean frowned. 'Then what?' Dean sighed and ruffled Sam's shaggy hair. He grumbled unhappily before he turned his head to face the other way. Dean missed the innocent little Sammy he used to have. But he was no more, gone, basically obliterated. So much for that dream. But sometimes, on the rarest of moons, he catch a glimpse of that Sammy and he would try to grasp on to it as long as could, but, unfortunately, everything must come to an end._

_He turned around and nearly pissed himself. He was centimeters from locking lips with Cas. "Dude! Personal space!" He huffed as he walked around the Angel._

"_I apologize." Cas turned around and faced Dean, who had half of a McMuffin shoved in his mouth already. "I have come because I sensed a feeling very overwhelming."_

"_I thought you didn't have emotions..." Dean tried to talk around the food in his mouth. Cas sighed and sat down on Dean's bed. He grasped his black locks and looked up to Dean with these big, shiny, puppy dog eyes._

"_Me too." Dean swallowed and stared at those pathetic eyes. Cas looked like he was going to cry._

"_Man, please don't cry..." Dean walked over to Cas and lied a hand on his back. Here he was, ready for a chick flick moment and yet, he wouldn't do this for his own brother? The one who was most likely ripping himself apart because he just started the Apocalypse? Oh, yeah, that's great. He'd become the world's most horrible brother._

_Mentally, verbally, and physically abusing Sam, sending him heart-shredding glances, shit he was down right detestable!_

"_D-Dean? You know how I am attached to you two brothers?"_

"_Yes, yes, I know. The whole Guardian Angel type thing, I know." _

"_I suppose this is the way one of you is feeling..." Dean shook his head and shook this whole thing off._

"_Right, and I'm the Easter Bunny."_

"_Excuse me?" Castiel asked, giving Dean The Head Tilt of The Lord._

"_It's sarcasm, Cas." Cas sighed._

"_Do we need to have the talk again?" Dean nearly dropped his coffee. Never, ever, has the words 'the talk' been more awkward. Any serious talk with Cas is awkward. Cas is awkward. And chick-flicky. And God knows Dean hates chick-flicks._

"_It has been noted that people who are depressed tend to sleep a lot." Cas said, gazing down softly to Sam._

_Dean laughed. "Oh, that's funny," Dean chuckled out. "Sammy? Nah, not Sammy. Sammy's a fighter; he's not like that."_

"_I could beg to differ. Sam's aura is dull, barely a glow." Cas sighed as he pushed some of Sam's bangs back and frowned deeper as he swept a tear away. _

"_Whatever floats your harp-strumming boat, man." Dean said, munching away on the other half of the McMuffin, waving a hand, dismissing it all. _

"_I do not believe I own a boat, nor do I believe one could strum a harp..." Cas looked at his feet thoughtfully. _

_Dean sighed, having half the mind to dump Samantha's girly half-caf, double-vanilla latte all over Cas, instead, he licked some of the whipped cream off and handed it to Cas._

"_What am I to do with this?" Cas stared down at the cup._

"_Wake Sam up and give it to him, moron!" Cas glared at Dean._

"_Show me some respect Dean," Cas growled before turning to Sam and shaking his shoulder lightly. "Wake up, Sam. Dean wants you awake."_

"_Mmph, I'm s'srry, D'n..." Sam murmured before shoving his head back into the pillow. "M'srry I g't Mum k'll'd..." Cas leaned in to hear Sam's murmurs. "M'srry 'bout ta bl'd..." Sam whimpered into the pillow and gripped it tighter. Dean walked over cautiously, and tried to wake Sam, before the nightmare got out of hand and he had a whiny, bitchy, emo, Migraine-Sam when he woke up. As soon as Dean layed a hand on Sam, he let out a blood-curdling scream. _

_Sam jackknifed in the bed, panting and sweating. "Well, looky here. The almighty Sam Winchester waking up putrefied. Such a Kodak moment." Gabriel sighed as he held a picture of Sam, looking as if he'd just awoken from Hell. 'He did. His very own, personalized Hell...'_

"_Fuck you," Sam grumbled moodily._

"_I'll gladly fuck you!" Sam looked away, trying oh so hard to hide the cherry-red blush upon his cheeks._

"_That's not what I meant." Sam huffed as Gabriel suddenly popped onto Sam's lap. "Hey, get off of me!" Sam tried to push the Archangel off of him but to no avail, the Angel was like lead, planted on his lap. Gabriel's body heat reaching Sam and sent waves of comfort through him. 'Weird.'_

"_I know you are but what am I?" Gabriel sung childishly, batting his eyelashes._

"_A freaking jerk." Gabriel feigned an expression of mock hurt._

"_I can't believe you said that to me, Sammy."_

"_It's Sam." Gabriel waved a hand in the air dismissively and shrugged. _

"_Well, while I'm here," Gabriel wiggled around until he found a comfortable enough position for him._

_Sam tried to fight the waves of unwanted tingles that Gabriel's body heat and him being in such close proximity to his...manparts...brought. Gabriel wiggled one more time for good measure and Sam bit back a groan. _

"_Now, now, Sammyboy... Lets not hide such things from your lover."_

"_YOU ARE NOT MY LOVER!" Sam shouted as The Blush came back. Oh, The Cursed Blush. _

"_Only in your wildest dreams, schnookums." Gabriel nuzzled Sam's chest._

"_Would you quit that?" Sam cried exasperatedly._

"_Nope. I like it!" Unbeknownst to Sam and Gabriel, Cas had poofed Dean and himself to the local diner. Sooo... Both pairs happened to be all by themselves... Hinthint Winkwink_

_Gabriel, as quick as lightening, moved to a straddling position. He pushed Sam's shoulders down roughly. Something flashed in his eyes and a look of dominance was swept across his face. "Sammy, you know you want it. Just say it. Say you want me," Gabriel growled. Sam said nothing, bewilderment smeared across his face. "SAY IT!" Gabriel yelled as he slapped Sam._

"I want it!" Sam exclaimed as he woke up. Next thing he knew, Dean and another familiar person's laugh erupted from the corner of the room. He snapped his head towards their direction. When he spotted the honey-haired male, a light pink blush dusted his cheeks.

"Sam, you should'a seen yourself! You were makin' some serious happy noises over there, man!"

"Shut up, Jerk."

"Bitch."

And so the morning went back to normal, well...sort of. It was as close to normal the Winchesters could get until Sam got out of the shower.

"So, Sam, you ready to kick some Werewolf ass?"

"Sure." Sam sifted through his duffel to find some clothes, because, as of now, the only thing he had on was a towel. As he was shifting clothes and objects, some-_most_-of the stuff fell out. "Shit." When he bent down to get the items, a wolf whistle sounded.

"WHOO! Sammy! I'd hit that tight ass!" Sam snapped up to look at Gabriel...if the look on Sam's face wasn't enraged, show me one that is. He grabbed his clothes and stomped his foot like a child then stormed away and back into the bathroom.

"So much sexual tension, so little Sammy... And that's saying something," Gabriel hummed.

"Do you mind... Hmm, I don't know, NOT HITTING ON MY BABY BROTHER?" Dean grumbled moodily was he was polishing a knife, then setting it down to clean a gun.

"It was humorous when you were just embarrassing him, now you're just being an ass-butt," Cas added his two cents as he suddenly just popped into the room.

"Listen, I'm just yanking his chain. It's _funny._ Now, tell me, Dean, is it hard to fuck Cas with that stick shoved up his ass?"

Dean threw his current project down and approached Gabriel, sick waves of anger radiating off of him. "Listen to _me_, you feathery dick! I am not _gay_!" His words dripped with venom and disgust. Gabriel spared a glance to Cas, who's face showed pure pain.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Homophobe." Gabriel said flippantly, waving a hand in the air.

"I'm _not_ Homophobic, either!" Dean's aura was just radiating anger and pent up—what was that? Oh, yeah, that's right, Dean's still in denial.

"Your actions say otherwise, bro." Gabriel feigned interest in the non-existent dirt under his fingernails.

"UGH! I'm not your 'bro,' you fucking _fag_!" Dean punched Gabriel in the face, only to walk away steaming and with a broken hand.

Sam stepped out of the bathroom, fully clothed. He had tried to avoid the argument, tried to get away from the angry words that had hurt him indirectly. _That's what I'm afraid of. He'll abandon me... Will I have to stay in the closet forever?_

**WOOT! Yes, yes, I know, it's HORRIBLY WRITTEN. M'sorry. Please, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism only. No flames. I know I can't write SPN very well but, hey, it's my first, okay? Gimme a break. It'll get better with time... I think... **

**Reviews are LOVE!**

**No next chappie until you review! Mush, my readers, MUSH! * Flicks whip***


	3. Emotions Run High

**WARNING:**

**I portrayed Dean as a Homophobe. He'll get better.**

June 17, 2011 (Again.)

Sam stared at his feet for a few moments, fidgeting with the towel around his waist, looking deep in sad thought.

"Hey there, Sammy, whats'a matter?" Gabriel said jokingly but with real concern. Biting on the inside edge of his mouth, he debated putting a hand on Sammy's shoulder, like he had seen Sam do before as a comforting gesture. Okay, so with all of his many years on this earth he had never learned how to correctly comfort a human. Is there a correct way to comfort a human? Or is there like a rule book or some shit? He made a mental note to research that a little bit, seeing as to Sammy being the emo bitch that he is, that rule book would come in handy. Of course, he had unconsciously put his hand on Sam's shoulder during his thinking anyway.

Sam gazed into beautiful golden eyes, searching for even the slightest tinge of genuine concern. To his surprise, those usual bright, golden eyes were dulled by it...and he hated it. Sam wondered if he should just tell Gabe that he loved him or just play the 'I'm fine' card. He went with the 'I'm fine' card. "Nothing," Sam said simply and gave a small smile.

As Sam was walking away, Gabriel grabbed his arm tightly. Sam stopped and looked at Gabriel. "Ow, you're hurting me." Sam tried to jerk his arm away but to no avail.

_Yeah? Well, you're hurting me by not telling me what's the matter. _"Please tell me what's bothering you, Sammy..."

"Listen, Gabriel, I'm fine. Now let go of me, I'm gonna have a bruise." Gabriel reluctantly let go of Sammy and just stood there, face blank. "Now... The real question is if _you're_ okay."

What do you mean am _I_ okay? Yeah, Gabe's _peachy_! _Fucking peachy_! How could The Trickster be unhappy? He ganks people for his shits and giggles for Christ's sake!" Sam flinched at the harshness of Gabe's voice.

"The Gabe I know just doesn't blow up outta nowhere... Seriously, dude, if something's eating at you, you can tell me." Sam put a firm hand on Gabriel's shoulder. Sam's touch had always warmed and comforted him. Always.

Gabe snapped around with the fierceness only an Angel could manage. He gripped Sam by the collar and pulled him in for a fearful and fiery kiss.

Sam was shocked at first, then slowly melted into the kiss and began to return Gabriel's favor. He brought his hand up to Gabe's hair and tangled it in honey locks. Gabriel snuck a hand up Sammy's shirt and ghosted a hand down his stomach. Sam moaned into the kiss and was pushed onto the closest bed to them.

Unbeknownst to them, Dean had stepped into the room with a six pack just seconds earlier...

Sam pulled back for air and gazed shortly into Gabe's eyes, panting, then roughly pulled Gabe back into another kiss. Gabe snuck his tongue into Sammy's mouth and explored the moist, warm cavern.

Dean watched with utter horror, how could—why—when—what the hell?

Horror then turned into rage and he stormed over to them and pulled Gabriel off of Sam.

"Dude, didn't you notice your bro was havin' some fun?"

"No, but I _did_ notice that you were _molesting_ him!"

"Hell no! He was _not_ molesting me, dammit!"

"Quit sticking up for The Trickster!"

Sam let out an angry huff. "That's what he _used_ to be! He's a better person! He's Gabriel, not _The Trickster_! That was the past! Live for the future! Didn't you always tell me that?" Sam stomped over to Gabe, took his hand then stormed to the door. He looked back at Dean who snarled up his face in disgust and said,

"If you walk out that door... Don't you _ever_ come back." And once again... Sam left.

Dean followed heatedly, cursing and yelling at the two. "_Fine_! Fucking go! See if I care! I don't need you anyways! You fucking _faggots_!_ God,_ you make me _sick_!"

Dean was about to storm back into the motel room when he saw two chicks staring at him, bewildered. "What're you looking at?"

"A fucking dick head." The slightly taller one said and began to walk over. Before Dean could react to the stranger, she socked him a good one and walked away.

Dean scowled at the woman and rubbed at his jaw grumbling something about retarded gays.

Sam crumbled to his knees in the middle of the parking lot, sobbing silently. Did he just get abandoned by his own brother? _ Again_? He did. And all because he was gay. Just because of his _fucking_ _sexuality_. Gabriel just stood there for a moment, everything just happened so freaking fast. He crouched down and put a hand on Sam's back, rubbing in small circles.

"C'mon, buddy. Let's go somewhere nice, mkay?"

"Okay..." Gabriel helped him stand up and they started walking away from the motel.

"Hey! Guys!" They turned around and saw two girls running towards them. "You did better than me."

"Excuse me?" Gabriel asked, slightly confused.

"Well, I'm guessing you just came out, right?" One said.

"Umm, yeah." Sam said, wiping away a stray tear.

"Well, that's great!" The other one hugged Sam. "After I told my mum and dad, I never went back home. And she ended up self-harming but we got through it together, right, Babe?" The first girl nodded her head. "I screwed up and became an alcoholic..." The second girl stared at her feet. She dug around in her packet and pulled out a shiny coin. "But I've been clean for five years. Haven't touched a beer for five whole years."

Sam smiled fondly at the girls, they were so young and understanding. He liked them. "Well, that's great, squirt," Gabriel said.

She looked slightly hurt. "Gabriel doesn't mean that," Sam elbowed him in the ribs, "Right, Gabe?"

"Right. I'm sorry," He said reluctantly, rolling his eyes.

"So, I would ask if you guys wanted to go out for a drink but how about we go get lunch, instead?"

"That would be great, what do you think, Ariel?" The first one asked the shorter blonde.

"Sure. Just let me get my purse, okay?"

"Alright. We'll wait here," Sam said as Ariel walked away.

"Okay, they seem nice but," Gabriel paused for a second, "we have bigger problems."

Sam looked confused, "Like what?"

"Your bro in there is flipping out on my bro and if he hurts him I swear—" Gabriel stormed back into the motel room in an aggravated huff.

Ariel skipped back to Sam, "Where'd Gabriel g—"

_Crash!_

Sam ran to his motel room, yelling behind him, "Uh, maybe later!" Sam busted into the room, his head snapping around the room, soaking in the scene. The lamp was shattered, there was a dent in the wall right above the broken lamp, Sam presumed it was from someone throwing it. He looked over to Dean, who was panting and clutching his left arm, where a few stray glass shards had embedded themselves there.

Gabriel was holding back his brother, who was yelling.

"How could you say that, Dean? How?" Cas screamed furiously, "How could you be so cruel? You're the most difficult person to be around! _Christ_!" Everyone stared in disbelief. Did Cas just say that? Cas ripped his arms away from his older brother.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up, there little one," Gabe grasped Cas's arm again. "What's up?"

A tear rolled down Cas's cheek. _Gabriel... I think I've fallen in love with Dean. And I'm scared. _

Gabriel pulled him in for a hug, Cas gripping the cloth of Gabe's shirt on his shoulders, sobbing.

Sam and Dean were stunned, to say the least. These Angels were showing emotion. The end of the world really _has_ come upon us.

"Cas," Gabe whispered softly, "Do you wanna tell him?"

"No..." Came the muffled reply. Cas pulled away from Gabe and wiped his eyes.

"Cas... Are you okay?" Sam asked slowly, softly.

"Not at all, Sam,"

"Oh," Sam said distractedly, as he was trying to digest all of this.

**Okay, so Gabe has a soft spot for his family. Sue me. **

**Read & Review!**

**~Bittersweet**


	4. The Light

June 18, 2011 3:24 AM

A bottle of liquor sounded nice to Dean after all the others left so he went to the local liquor store. At first, he was just walking along the empty roads but currently he was sitting next to a couple trashcans in a random back alleyway. He sat there for a while, thinking and drinking until he heard yelling coming from the other end of the alleyway.

"You don't deserve to live, you fag!" One random guy yelled, his voice rancid.

"It's none of your business!" The apparent victim said, tears in his voice.

"What you did with my brother, it's just disgusting!" The victim punched one of attackers, then tried to run. He yelped when they grabbed him by the back of his shirt. They started to beat him until he was on the ground, in the fetal position, holding the back of his head. He was whimpering, knowing he was going to die tonight.

Dean knew that he would die, too, if he didn't help the poor guy. It was his duty to save people, whether from supernatural beings or other humans. He ran towards the group of boys and smashed the glass bottle on one of their heads, knocking him out. Then, obviously, a fight ensued, Dean coming out as the victor. He helped the beaten male up, checking for any seriously bleeding external wounds. "Get to the hospital ASAP, okay?"

On the walk back to the motel, he realized, Sam was his brother and he should love him for who he is, no matter that he was gay. He was supposed to accept him for all of his nerdy, weird, even gay ways. He knew that he had to apologize as soon as he saw him next, afraid he may have damaged their relationship permanently.

He walked to the motel in the rain, it had started right after he saved the thankful guy. Dean walked into the room in his dripping wet clothes then began to shed them. Sam walked out of the bathroom, a surprised look on his face. "Oh, um, sorry. I just wanted my clothes and stuff. I'll leave soon..."

Dean frowned. "No. You don't need to leave. I'm sorry, I should accept you for _you_, even if that means that you're gay," Dean stopped to study Sam's face, which broke into a bright smile. He dropped the pile of clothes he had and ran towards Dean, enveloping him in a hug.

"Thank you, Dean!" Sam let go of his bewildered brother, grinning like a fool. Dean smiled ever so softly, he hadn't seen his brother smile like than since he got his first laptop. Little Sammy jumped around, giddy and just plain ecstatic. Another great memory.

"Dean, my old pal! I'm glad you saw the light." Gabe said as he put his arm around Sam's waist. Then he looked up to Sam, glare in place. "You're too tall," he deadpanned.

Sam chuckled and rested his arm atop of Gabriel's head. "Am I now? Hmm, didn't notice." Sam tapped his chin. Gabe growled and crossed his arms, slumping his shoulders.

"You're mean to me, Sammy," He pouted.

"Am not. I'm wonderful to you. You're the one who's mean."

Gabriel turned around and huffed. Dean was ready to intervene, not wanting to witness their first fight. "I'm not mean!"

"Are too." Sam said. "You played all of those horrible jokes who got people killed!"

"Yeah? Well, they deserved it! Y'know one guy was a child molester!" Sam made a face.

"They didn't deserve to die!"

"They were gonna die anyways!" Sam smiled and made a snorting sound, trying to stifle his laughter.

"Hey! Don't laugh at me!" Gabe tackled Sam and they started to play wrestle, laughing all the while. Dean stared. He thought they were really getting into it. He shook his head and turned around only to be scared out of his skin because of Castiel... Again.

"Jesus, Cas. You're gonna give me a heart attack."

"I wanted to apologize. I was out of line yesterday." At this point the playful wrestling stopped and the new couple was watching Dean and Cas.

"Yeah, umm," Dean rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's alright. I forgive you."

Cas's expression brightened and he looked over at Sam and Gabriel who both gave two thumbs up. "Thank you, Dean... But I need to tell you something."

Gabriel's face fell and he face-palmed. This was _not_ the time or place.

"Okay...?" Dean looked suspicious.

"Well... I think I... IthinkIloveyou." The words came out in one breath, smudged together and fast.

"What? Cas you have to stop talking so damn fast." Castiel wrung his hands together then flapped them in front of his chest, looking flustered.

"I said... I think I love you," He murmured.

"Dammit, Cas, speak up." Dean said, slightly agitated.

"He fuckin' loves you, dumbass!" Gabriel yelled, "Isn't it obvious? He has all this time!"

"What?" Dean whispered, confused. "WHAT?" How could he not have noticed? Obviously he wasn't an expert on love but the would have noticed Cas acting differently, right? Apparently he didn't. Cas, acting irrationally, grabbed Dean's face and slammed his lips into Dean's. After a second, Cas turned away and ran, arm to his eyes, trying to stop the flow. As his coat flowed behind him gracefully, tears fell and sparkled in the light of the moon. He opened the door and left it open, not bothering to slam it.

"Oh, Cas..." Sam murmured softly, worry etched into his features. Dean snapped back into reality and took off, hoping to catch Castiel in time.

"CAS!" Dean yelled. Once he was outside, he stopped and looked around, eyes flicking everywhere. "Cas? Get back here you feathery dick!" Fear of loosing Cas for good brought Dean to his knees. At this very moment, he finally confirmed his feelings for Cas. "Cas! Cas, if you can hear me, I-I love you, too! Dammit! Cas! Cas...?" Dean felt a hot tear roll down his face.

**Ohhh, yay! Some Destiel for you, my friends. So, I think it's time that I thank all of the people who reviewed/favorited.**

**The Where I'm Going Bandwagon:**

**gnavy22 **

**Hannamina **

**Paradox-Imagination **

**LostShadowSoul **

**Effiny **

**egastin77 **

**blackmagic661 **

**summer1980 **

**xXxIxHell'sAngelsXxX **

**Of course there's always an honorary reviewer and that would be DeansMuse! Thank you so much for all the help! I look forward to your next review, hopefully another good plotbunny? *Flashes Sammy's puppy dog eyes***

**Anyhoo, thanks so much to all of you! Your reviews and favorites mean _so_ much to me, you have no idea! Thanks a ton!**

**Read & Review!**

**~Bittersweet**


	5. Forgotten Dread

June 18, 2011

Dean's sadness soon turned into anger, "Fucking dammit!" he shouted. "What the _hell_ is wrong with me? I'm such a dick! God-fucking-_ughh_!" Dean punched a lamppost then wandered off, seething. Sam frowned and went to chase after him but Gabriel grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

"Let him deal with this on his own," Gabe mumbled wisely, he knew damn well just how this would play out, so he just left Dean be. "Instead..." Gabe's face broke out in a grin "Let's have some fun and make merry..." Sam turned fully to Gabe, a bright-red blush gracing his face. Sam's frown let up a bit but his concern still lingered in the back of his mind, he unconsciously knew something horribly wrong was going to happen. He shrugged it off, thinking he was just being over protective. Gabe smiled at the thoughts, he knew everything would be _just fine_.

Gabriel grasped Sam's collar and pulled him down to his height, he pressed his cheek to Sam's and whispered, "C'mon, babes, you know you wanna." A shudder went down Sam's spine as Gabe licked the rim of Sam's ear. Said brunette let a small moan escape his bass throat. "Now we're getting somewhere..." Gabriel murmured. The shorter male unbuttoned Sam's shirt with precise fingers and threw the unneeded article to the side. He pushed Sam onto the closest bed before starting where he knew Sam would squirm under. So Gabe slid his tongue up the side of Sam's neck, again nibbling on Sam's ear. After hearing the younger male squeak, Gabe moved down to Sam's right collarbone, nipping at the tender flesh, he grinned as he marked Sam as his, then moved to do it again, but on the inside of Sam's left shoulder.

Hearing Sam moan, Gabe noticed exactly how hard he was. Leaving a sloppy, hungry trail of hickeys down to Sam's naval, Gabe all but ripped the jeans off of his lover's body. As he stared hungrily at Sam's length beneath the thin cloth of his red boxers, he fumbled with his own clothes. After disposing of the pesky pieces of cloth, he leaped onto Sam again. "You ready for an Archangel to take you?" Gabriel whispered huskily into Sam's ear.

"Nnng..." Sam grunted.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that," Gabriel teased.

"T-take me, Gabe..." Sam mumbled as he squirmed at the pain his manhood was giving him.

"You got it." Gabe lifted Sam's legs to rest around his waist, slightly propped up by his own thighs. "Comfortable?" When Sam nodded his head, Gabe proceeded to lather some lube on himself. As he positioned his throbbing length at Sam's puckered entrance, he questioned, "You ready? It's gonna hurt but I'll try to make it as painless as possible."

"Nnngg... Just do it, alread—ah!" Sam gasped as Gabe inserted himself into Sam. He whimpered, feeling himself tear slightly. Gabe let Sam adjust to something being shoved up his ass for the first time. "Move," Sam demanded.

And thus, his wish was granted. Gabe slowly slid himself out of Sam then slowly slid himself back in. Eventually he picked up the pace, reveling in the sensation of being inside of his lover. When Sam mewled, Gabe knew he hit the right spot. He aimed for Sam's prostate again, earning a loud moan form the trembling man. He only had time to thrust a few more times before Sam reached his climax and Gabe following close behind, filling his lover with his seed and loving the feeling of Sam's muscles clenching in on him.

Gabe collapsed beside Sam, who cuddled up against him, laying his head on Gabe's shoulder. "I love you..." Sam murmured before he was swept away and to the world of dreams.

_**Oh, dear Misha. I am so sorry for not updating! Unfortunately, I have no good excuses other than I was too busy getting wrapped up in Hetalia. So I just cranked out this super quickly. All mistakes are mine. So sorry. Sad face. Did I do good with my fist Sabriel Smut scene? Tell me in a review!**_

_**Read & Review**_

_**~Bittersweet**_


	6. Good Reasons

June 18, 2011

Dean went out to get a bottle Jack and mope. Why hadn't he expressed his feelings to Cas before? He knew he had them, and he knew that he should have just shown them in the first place. Of course, Dean had to do the exact _opposite_ of what his heart and head told him, only because he was afraid of getting hurt. "You idiot," Dean mumbled to himself. If he had let his feelings be known, he wouldn't be walking the allies of this unfamiliar town with these equally unfamiliar tears streaming down his face.

On the verge of collapsing, Dean threw the three-fourths empty bottle of Jack to the side. He steadied himself with a hand on the brick wall beside him, and flinched as he heard the bottle shatter on the opposite wall of the ally with the rest of the alcohol spilling out. _If a heart breaking made a sound... That's what Cas's would sound like... All broken and abused, all of his emotions spilling out in a quick kiss that just added insult to injury when I didn't kiss him back..._ Dean had surprised himself at how utterly _ deep_ that thought was, how amazingly _ emo._

"I'm becoming Sammy," Dean stated with a sigh, matching the emo-ness of his previous thought. Dean hung his head low, but not as low as he felt. He more than likely just destroyed all that was Cas, because all of heaven knows that when Cas _truly_ feels and believes in something, it holds a place in his heart, it makes a home. "I'm such a dick."

"Hey!" yelled a voice, "What's up, sexy?" Dean turned his head towards the sound and pointed to his chest.

"Sexy?" he slurred.

"Yeah, babes," a blonde young man said as the approached Dean. "You." The unnamed man grinned and ran his fingers down Dean's jawbone. Dean slapped his hand away, irritating the other. "Aww, c'mon, why would you do that?" Dean stepped away, face crumpled in confusion and slight anger.

"D'n't w'nt you touchin' meh," Dean told him.

"I'm afraid I don't care," the man snapped, gripping Dean's arm tight. The man pushed Dean against the brick wall and leaned in to whisper to him, "I'm Blake and _I'm_ the master. Do as I say or die. Do you hear me?"

"Get offa meh," Dean urged as he pushed weakly on Blake's chest. Alcohol never did anything good for him.

"Absolutely not."

"Pl's," Dean begged.

"_No,_" Blake snarled, sliding his hand up Dean's shirt. Dean growled deep in his throat, trying his damnedest to push Blake away. Blake rolled Dean's left nipple between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Q't!" Blake slammed his lips into Dean's, smothering his attempts to make him stop. When Blake pulled back and bit Dean's neck, breaking skin and leaving traces of Dean's blood on his lips. "H'lp!" Dean yelled, the alcohol slurring his words painfully. "HELP!" As Dean tried harder, the vowels appeared again.

"Ah, ah, ah! Quit that, Pet." Dean tried to thrash around, but Blake seemed to be stronger than him tonight.

"No, no, no, no, no!" Dean screamed. Blake slapped Dean, leaving a harsh red mark on his cheek. Blake carefully slid a knife from his waistband and held it to Dean's throat.

"Behave, Pet," he commanded, putting a light pressure on the knife. Dean stopped thrashing, knowing, even through his alcohol haze, that he had to stay here for Sam, for Cas.

"Yes... Sir," Dean grounded out, playing along.

"Master. I am your master."

"Yes, Master," Dean corrected himself. Blake smirked, finally getting Dean to submit.

"Good Pet," Blake hummed as he stripped Dean, slowly, painfully. Dean's skin crawled every time Blake's cold hands touched him. Before Dean knew it, he was completely nude and on the ground. Blake nipped at Dean's neck, making said blonde's stomach churn unforgivably. He looked into Blake's hungry eyes, seeing the unmistakeable black flash.

Dean's heart sped until he felt it would explode. "NO!" he screamed, "NO, NO, NO, NO! Stop it! You lowly scum of the—" Dean screamed as searing pain erupted through his heat, making him shudder at what he knew just happened. His mind whirled. This can't be happening. It cant! Anything would be better than this, anything! "Exor-exorcizamus te..." Dean stopped, his drive falling to tears as Blake pumped in and out of him, he felt his walls tearing and a warm liquid running down his thighs. "Cas," he murmured, "I'm so sorry..." Dean lost his consciousness between the emotional strain and the pain he was forced to go through. The last thing he heard was laughing and the sound of a zipper... The last thing he felt was Blake's release inside of him.

Sam woke up with a start to the sound of fluttering wings. He blinked several times before sitting up and looking around. He saw the ever-familiar silhouette of a man with a trench coat but he was holding another form. "Mnn, Cas, is everything alright? Who is that?" he asked though a heavy after-sex sleep haze.

"It's Dean." Cas said simply. There was a sharp intake of air and a gasp before a hurried rustling of sheets. Gabe ran over to the light switch and flipped it on. Sam ran, tripping over his feet, towards Dean and Cas. "He called for me. A demon forced intercourse upon him."

"WHAT?" Gabe screeched as Sam stopped breathing. He paled and reached out to his brother and swept his fingers across his arm. His brother... His unstoppable brother was raped. No... Oh, God, no. "Sammy, I need you to sit down, okay? Baby, go sit on the bed," Gabe said soothingly, and walked Sam over to sit. When Sam was on the bed, staring into nothing, his brain useless, Gabe rushed over to to assess Dean's situation. There was fresh blood and seamen rolling down his thighs and only a few small bruises here and there. "Okay, Cas, put him in the tub and start rinsing him off with warm water, he may wake up so be sure to brace yourself when he does, he'll probably flip shit and thrash." Gabe kneeled down in front of his love and slipped a strand on hair behind his ear.

"Baby, look at me... I need you to look at me, okay?" When green eyes met gold, Gabe smiled. "He's gonna be okay. I promise. He's not seriously injured or bleeding at all." Little white lies would only help this situation. "Sammy, repeat after me, My brother,"

There was a pause as Sam processed Gabe's words. "M-My brother,"

"Dean, will be okay." Gabe's honey voice only soothed Sam's nerves minutely.

"Dean, will be okay," Sam's leaded voice echoed.

"He is strong and he can surpass anything. He's the best thing on this earth, except for my amazing lover." Gabe smirked.

"He is strong and he can surpass anything. He's the best thing on this earth, except for my amazing lover," Sam echoed with a lighter voice.

"Better?"

"Yeah." Sam leaned down to peck those sweet lips. Gabe stood to help his brother, since he hadn't heard any water running.

"How do you—"

"I'm comin'," Gabe said. "This guy, he's hopeless," he told Sam, who nodded. He entered the motel's bathroom and moved Castiel out of the way, turning on the warm and cold water to a two-to-one ratio. Then, he pulled the shower head down and turned it on, spraying the warm water over the eldest Winchester. He watched as dean moved slightly and handed the shower head to Cas, who mirrored his older brother's earlier actions and washed his beloved.

Cas saw eye lids flutter and green orbs emerge and smiled at Dean. Dean tilted his head but smiled back. "Are you alright?" Cas asked. Gabe slapped himself on the forehead. Of course not!

"I think I will be... With you." Dean murmured, and slipped away again. Gabe handed his helpless brother a rag and Dean's AXE body wash.

"Here. Wash him up." Cas followed orders gingerly, kneeling and taking his time running the rag over Dean's body, but scrubbing thoroughly when he reached Dean's lower half. He hated this demon, it had no right to defile his love. He wanted every trace of that disgusting thing off of Dean's body. It belonged to him now.

"Lighten up, Cassie, you'll hurt him," Gabe warned, and Cas' face fell and lightened his strokes.

"I-I like this smell..." Cas said softly, solemnly. Gabe smiled sadly.

"I know, Hun, I do, too. ...He'll be okay. He even said so, didn't he?" Cas nodded his head and looked up to his older bother and a single tear escaped his eye. "Oh, don't cry, don't cry, Cas..." Even though, Cas' face streamed with tears. "C'mere," Gabe said, motioning for Cas. Said angel pulled himself up slowly and dropped the rag into the tub then flung himself at Gabe. He loved his brother, but he loved Dean to where it hurt. Somewhere along the way, probably when the lights were still off, Gabe snapped Sam and himself clean and clad in pajama pants only. Castiel felt Gabe's strong arms embrace him and his stronger wings fold around them.

Dean's eyes fluttered open slightly, and through half-lidded eyes he saw honey wings around his love. "I... Can see your wings, asshole." Then he fell away again.

"That was weird," Gabe whispered into Cas' shoulder, then laughed. Cas smiled when they broke apart.

"I suppose, when humans are in such a state, they can see our wings..." Cas said, brushing the bottom tips of this wings with gentle fingers.

"Maybe," Gabe said. "Go lay down, I'll bring him to you in a minute." As always, Cas followed orders, but not without stealing one more glance at his Dean. Gabe rinsed his body and snapped him onto the floor, dry, and into his own pajama bottoms. Once out of the floor and into Gabe's arms, said angel carried Dean to the bed that Cas occupied. "Here," Gabe whispered as he put Dean onto the bed

When he was sure the two were settled, he crawled behind his own lover and threw a hand over his waist. "Remember, Sammy, he'll be okay," He murmured to the man lost in sleep.

_**I'M NOT DEAD YOU GUYS! :D**_

_**Aren't you happy? ****^_^ ****Here's a nice sorta-long chappie for ya! My sis spilled soda on our wifi emitter so I couldn't update for a while. Sozzy.  
><strong>_

_**Anyhoo...**_

_**Read & Review**_

_**~Bittersweet**_


End file.
